0

The Start of a New Chapter

Hi guys, It’s been a long while since I’ve written in here. A lot has been happening in my life lately, and it’s time for this blog to get off its “professional” high horse and go down to the nitty-gritty of this being a personal blog.

So as you all may know, I’ve just recently separated from my 5 years of glorious reign of being one of the strongest long distance couple status. And no, this is not a post to gain sympathy or attention. Whoever will be seeing this will only be the readers that are curious to see if I post anything anymore, and they will be finding this Gem.

I have to say, I did not regret our decision to go our separate ways, at times I do miss the company and the connection that we once had. However, times have changed and people has changed over time, which is not to blamed on anyone or anything. I wished things would have been different, and our circumstances were different. But it was just not meant to be and I have come to terms with that.

This post is going to be about the different stages of a post break up summarised into the 6 R’s. This may not be a general idea but it’s something I went through and just want to share with the world about how I feel about it.

RELIEF

After a long push and pull of emotions, there is a sense of relief when a decision has been made. All the air cleared up to say that, things are not going work out. And yes, it may be selfish to say this, but freedom was felt. When the inevitable is coming towards the couple like a storm, sometimes, it is good for the release for both sides to concentrate on themselves for a change. People may comment that we are being weak and uncommitted, but if you know us personally and how we have been coping. You may understand. We had a good run, and the relief that we are choosing our individual future potential so that we don’t drag each other down.

18671118_10213919368805310_8990581336999664803_n

REALISATION

Then after the relief, here comes the realisation. The realisation that he’s not around anymore. There isn’t anyone that knows me for a quarter of my living life that I can rant to and talk to about our memories anymore. No one to look forward seeing. Just a realisation that I am now, single. What do I do. What am I suppose to do. There are people who want to be NOT single for a reason, and we let this go. A lot of things were realised at this stage, how he was there for me through my ups and downs, how our families have gotten used to us being together, how friends were waiting for the big good news from us. There were many expectations from everyone around us, how we gave long distance couples hope. It felt like I disappointed everyone around me. Then the feeling moved on to the next R..

IMG_4076

REGRET

Regret. Regret. Regret. I went nuts. I spent days in bed, just thinking of all the possibilities and regretted all the choices I made. It is the worse stage I went through. And will not wish upon anybody to go through this. Going through photos, notes, messages, just reading them and getting hurt by all of them. Hurt that we didn’t try hard enough. Hurt that we could have done more, I could have done more. Regretted all the things that my “strong heart” said, I just wanted to go back in time. What if things were different. What if I put more effort in. Would we have decided what we decided? Would we have been better people together than apart? Regrets. It is an overwhelming feeling, and all your friends around you may or may not realise that you are going through. It’s the best to share what you can share with them. But, honestly, they couldn’t help much for me. Because deep inside, this is my problem, only mine. And only I can solve it.

IMG_2586.jpg

RELAPSE

ah-HA. This stage. Very shameful stage. The begging to go back to normal stage. You all know this is a crazy ass stage. All your heart and mind wants to do is go back to a habitual life that you’ve been living for the past years. Just want to dangerously relapse back to him and go back to normal again. But that would mean all the decisions we made would be voided. HA. It is not as easy as that. When a decision like this has been done and all have been discussed, our weaknesses exposed. It is impossible to go back to normal, go back to how we once were. So no, that did not end well. Would not recommend this stage for any post break up couples. Because unless big changes are made on both sides, this will not end well. So yeah, not a very proud stage to have been through. But it happened. Glad that he did not give in to my relapse stage and nor I to his.

IMG_0883.jpg

RECONCILIATION

It’s a reconciliation of all the shit that happened just from all the stages before. It was a reconciliation on both sides. An understanding that we both have to move on. Understanding that we both did it for a reason, and we need to honour our reasons and decision. Don’t go back to the same mistakes. I will wish him all the best, and will always support him in all matters. Because we didn’t end things ugly, we ended things by putting everything into consideration. It was ugly through all these grieving stages. But we have to put all that behind us and go through life. Never will I regret everything we’ve been through. Never will I regret my decision again. Let’s just shake hands and wish each other well. Be Happy.

IMG_0327.jpg

REMEMBRANCE

I guess thats it for all the stages. The last one is when you bring yourself to start storing physical things away and memories to be locked away. And remembering that we had good times. All the fun trips we had, the experiences we went through together. I don’t regret one bit. and Never will. I will always have fond memories of you, and leave with no regrets of ever choosing you in the first place. I will be happy, and hope that you will be too.

1150208_10152109698349325_286104964_n.jpg

The end.

 

1

Courier Shipping to Malaysia (Sarawak) from the UK Experience

As most students that goes abroad to study encounter this crazy burden of shipping 3 or 4 years of clothes, books, keepsakes and etc. Students would have loads of questions about: Which courier to use, how fast will it arrive, is it safe?

So, I have decided to create this blog post of my whole experience from boxing to un-boxing of my things and hopefully be able to help students everywhere. Just FYI, I am not sponsored to this specific service I’m using, so it would be an honest review and experience.

Additional information:

From: Newcastle upon Tyne, UK
To: Miri, Malaysia
Amount: 3 boxes, 18x18x30 inches
Service: Shipping2Malaysia

  1. Ordering Packaging boxes (03/07/16)

Using the shipping2malaysia website, It’s very straight forward to navigate. The tab “Free boxes” says it all. There are two sizes to choose from:

  1. Maxi: 18x18x30 inches (max weight 40kg)
  2. Midi: 18x18x20 inches (max weight 30kg)

Link to that page, click here

Packaging

After entering all your details, you would merely just get this confirmation page like this after you click submit!

complete

They will then send you an additional email confirming that you have requested for the free boxes, and a reminder that there will be a deposit to be made for these boxes. The unused boxes will then be reclaimed back when the delivery is taking place, with the deposit being deducted from your total cost.

    2.    Receiving a text a day before the delivery date of the boxes. (11/07/16)

So after 6 working days, I received a text from Shipping2Malaysia that the boxes are coming the next day with a 3 hour window. The reply to them required was either a yes or a no on my availability of collecting the box.

Now, the situation is, I was NOT available for collection on that day, so I replied “no” to the text message, thinking that they will probably arrange for another day for sending the boxes. HOWEVER, they did not send any reply after my “no” reply. Until I emailed them enquiring.

Apparently, if you miss the delivery of the boxes or unable to collect it at the time that was set, you are required to REBOOK your boxes, which will take another 7 working days to arrive in your designated location.

   3.    Reordered box (14/07/16)

My housemate reordered another set of box a day or two after me. It was to the same house, so we shall see if it would arrive on the same date. Unfortunately, they emailed my housemate to say that they had no more maxi boxes in stock, so he had to get the midi boxes or expect the boxes to arrive in another 2 weeks. Unable to wait, housemate had to take the midi boxes instead.

   4.   Receiving the text (21/07/16)

Received the text 6 working days after placing the order. The box arrival was due between 4pm to 7pm. Housemate received the same text!

   5.   Box arrival (22/07/16)

The box arrived at around 6pm outside my house. The attitude of the driver was unsatisfying, he was in a rush and was rude to me and my housemate. He was nice enough to let my housemate have the spare maxi box he had in his truck. Why I said he was rude is because when I miscalculated the number of boxes we had (the midi boxes were smaller in size so I didn’t see them), I wanted him to recheck the number of boxes for me. He reluctantly came to count them, and when he counted them correctly and me realising that a missed the midi box, he replied “Betul ba! Apa Salah???”. Not only that, when my housemate was just looking over the deposit receipt thoroughly before signing the consent form, the driver said “Cepatlah!”. That attitude and tone was unacceptable and unsatisfying because the fact that we are in a country with people that are really polite and full of mannerism. Well it irritated me anyway.

   6.   Box sizes

A comment that I’d like to give about the box is that it is very tall and deep.So if you were planning to bring anything horizontal back, it would have to fit in vertically. But I was quite satisfied with the boxes as I used vacuum storage bags for my clothes so it doesn’t take up much space.

7. Courier Box collection (01/08/16)

I needed my box to come before the 3rd of August, but “10 working day” service may be cutting  bit too close for me AND I was worried that they may come too early within that 10 working days and I won’t be ready with my boxes yet. So I chose the premier service, which came on the day that I selected.

8. Courier Box Arrival (26/10/16)

So it arrived 87 days to Miri, Sarawak, which is almost 3 months! I am quite impressed that it did arrive when it said it would. All the items in the box were intact and perfect, no breaks or leaks or smells. However, a comment would be that the tape that Shipping to Malaysia supplied is not very strong, so tip to do quite a few layers of the tape OR get a stronger one. The box was a bit battered from the trip, as you can see in the pictures. Because it gets slightly deformed, the tape would get loosen and people would have access to your boxes easily, so take note of that.

Anyway, I’ll end this blog here! If you have any questions, feel free to drop me a comment!

0

Happy Mother’s Day

So today is Mother’s day!

And I would like to dedicate this post to my lovely, awesome possum mum.

305170_10151378665122782_2072348133_n

Technically if it wasn’t for her, I wouldn’t be the strong, fun and loving person I am today. I wouldn’t say that I grew up having tough love, but it was balanced love. I wasn’t showered with hugs and kisses everytime I see my mum. BUt now that I don’t see her often I do get it more often. Normally I would get greated with “LYSSA, YOU AT HOME ALL DAY WHY DIDNT EVEN WASH THE DISHES”, or “LYSSA, NOW ONLY GET UP, HOW TO EAT BREAKFAST LIKE THAT, WAIT FOR LUNCH LA”. yes. It’s probably my fault for being a lazy bum in the house. For that, I would like to apologise for my laziness mum. I’ll be better.

13095944_10154751258844325_8802222133946678484_n

She is the ultimate glue that sticks us together. The major queen bee. One call of your voice and everyone of us come running after you. You can ask Andy and Adrian and even papa. That’s because she the most important person to us and we will always be there when she needs us.

My mum is very funny person. She will never threaten me to get good grades, or force me to study. She would always encourage me to do my best. Because of this, in my mind, I wanted to be the best child for her, so that she doesn’t have to worry. She doesn’t express her dreams and hopes for me to me, but I can always see it in her eyes that I have made her proud. No matter what I do. This is love, this is my mother’s love.

graduation photo

Anyway, hope I made you proud and I will not stop trying to be your perfect daughter.

I love you mum. Forever and always xx

Happy Mothers Day!

Shining Beauty..Rich Looking Hand Bouquet of 10 pink oriental lilies @2500

0

How to get away with Murder…

Hey Guys!

I have been MIA for MONTHS now I know. Just an update on my life.
For Winter Break I went back home to Malaysia as a surprise for my family (excluding my dad). It was a great experience and a HUGE SUCCESS! The important people that I wanted to surprise was my mum and my grandpa. Both of them had no idea I was coming back for Christmas and New Years! It was a very homely, warm winter break for me in 2015. It would be the only time I could actually surprise them coming back for christmas break anyway because it’s my last year in the UK.

I got really into playing board games during the break as well. Inspired to create a business plan in having a BOARD GAME Cafe in Miri with my childhood buddies in the future. It would be the best side-career project! If anyone of you that so happen come across this post from MIRI or Malaysia, feel free to come, talk and advise me about doing this type of business. Retail, Food and Game Services.

Currently also having exams (6 papers) this month! So I am pretty stressed, but that gives me another reason to play Dota during the night! #Badass. Anyway, I am currently addicted to a relatively new series called “How to Get Away with Murder”. It isn’t as gorey as the title may imply the series to be. It is actually about lawyers and how they can seem to “get away” with it. If anyone shares the same interest and have already watched this series, GIVE ME A SHOUT! I need someone to rant with! PRONTO. The boyfriend doesn’t like to watch series that has a need to remember previous episodes. I think it just wastes his brain space. AH WELL. Rant over.

Remember to check the series out!

images

Viola-Davis-and-the-cast-of-How-To-Get-Away-With-Murder_article_story_large

0

Halloween Part 2!

Hi! So last week, I posted about my night out as Black Swan for my Halloween in Newcastle.

Then the next day (hungover-ly) took a flight to Bristol to be with my Boyfriend for Halloween! Just to get a taster of the Halloween in Bristol!

We were dressed as the famous “couple” in the Studio Ghibli world. Chihiro and No Face ghost from Spirited Away!!

Spirited Away studio ghibli picture chihiro no face

Spirited Away Chihiro Sen

Joy thought of this idea when picking his costume for halloween! We know it’s an anime and it probably doesn’t fit the “white people’s” Halloween tradition of ghosts, witches and zombies. BUT, for people who appreciates Hayao Miyazaki’s work of bringing the spirits and humans together, it TOTALLY fits the theme of the night.

For all who doesn’t know this movie, PLEASE watch it! It is definitely NOT a typical Anime and the music is beautiful as well.

I managed to get the Chihiro costume online for 23 pounds! I know it’s a tad bit expensive, but it is definitely going to be on my list of “worth it” purchases. Plus, it will be my last official halloween in the UK as a student. So i thought it was a good buy.

Chihiro Amazon Spirited Away Chihiro Amazon Spirited Away

I got a small, and it fits me pretty well! You will see the picture of me in it below. Sadly I didn’t get a solo shot because Joy was in costume so it wasn’t very easy for him to manoeuvre himself.

thumb_IMG_0887_1024 thumb_IMG_0884_1024

For Joy’s costume, it was handmade!
He used a aluminium plate (the one used for bbq’s) as the base of the mask. He taped the mask to his cap (GENIUS), and wore the cap on backwards so that the mask would stay on his head. He then bought fabric cloth of around 4 meters and then sewed it up. He cut 2 holes for his hands to come out. So Voila! No face!

No face Spirited Away

We were suppose to buy the gloves for his costume online, but it didn’t come on time! Sad face. So we had to make his gloves. I made a sucky glove. So he used the one he made himself. I am really bad at crafts. Joy on the other hand is amazing at it…..

thumb_IMG_0882_1024

The no face costume in the room creeps me out….

thumb_IMG_0883_1024

Anyway, we spend the night walking around the streets of Bristol in our costumes, and offering children chocolate coins. (I still can’t believe they would take chocolate from us!) Some people recognises us from the movie, but others would just think that Joy was a really creepy ghost. We got our pictures taken around the streets, which was fun. I walked around like a Japanese character, straight-back and small steps, while no-face walks behind me. It was pretty cool. I think the BEST and EPIC part of the night was when Joy was playing with a drunk guy through the window. Not only that, he PAID him 1 pound for his “entertainment”. We wouldn’t have taken his money if we knew he was giving it. But we only realised after he left! So it was really funny.

You can watch the video here: https://www.instagram.com/p/9iwHErAkFW/?taken-by=alyyphantee 

Anyway, the night was great! Experience of trick or treating during Halloween, Check! I would like to go Halloween in the US, because I have always watched on tv that they do Halloween pretty well :p

Halloween no face

12187940_1109820419035625_7443799377417657846_n

11228028_10156321846940121_6278673308123688162_n

Thats all for this week folks! See ya!

2

Halloween 2015 – Part 1

It’s my fourth year in the the greatest city in the UK in my eyes, Newcastle. The time has now come for one of my favourite occasion of the year! Halloween

So this year, I attempted to roam the streets as Black Swan or at least a version of it! I managed to get a dress off eBay for only 3 pounds! Which to be honest, is a BARGAIN! Plus, its quite a generic dress. It’s not a one-time use ballet dress that I would just use once!So it was a bargain!

eBay dress halloween                                            .       eBay dress halloween

I also had my make up done last minute by the creation of the one and only Warm!
You can check her out on her blog http://www.warming1up.com, or on her Youtube, https://www.youtube.com/user/warming1up! She’s an amazing make-up artist with the looks of an angel and mind you, she’s not some beauty bimbo as she has a first class degree in Chemical Engineering! So check her out!

So these are among her creations of the night:

Black swan

Black Swan inspired make-upthumb_IMG_0848_1024Zombie lady!

Yes, me not smiling isn’t the best look. I admit it.

Anyway, Just some pictures of the night that I managed to take before floating into drunk world where imagery does not matter anymore….. It was a great night out with old and new friends! One of the most unforgettable nights I’ve had for Halloween in Newcastle!

thumb_IMG_0853_1024

thumb_IMG_0872_1024

thumb_IMG_0869_1024

thumb_IMG_0868_1024

thumb_IMG_0867_1024                                           thumb_IMG_0873_1024

Wish I had more pictures in the nightclub with other costumes too! But, meh. The night was long!
PART 2 of Halloween will be coming out very soon! So Stay tuned!

0

Battle Shots!

So my blog as been on a monthly stand-still nowadays. But that is about to change! This is going to be a weekly post from NOW on. Daily is too much for me and to think of new content. However, monthly is too long of a stretch without blogging. To be fair, the days goes past much quickly now that Uni has started. It’s just weekly of catching up with work, exercise classes and then relaxing after a long day!

Back to TOPIC!
HAVE you ever had times where you just want to chill with your best friend with drinks but sometimes get too awkward just talking between the two of you the whole night? Well that is going to change! Introducing a really casual game that does not require much preparation, much booze, and much time to prepare!

So the game is called BATTLESHOTS! (DIY edition) You can buy it online premade, but who’s going to spend that kinda money, really.

Things you would need:
1. 2 pieces of paper
2. 1 Marker pen
3. Ruler
4. 2 Pencils

First you prepare a 5 by 5 table as the “map” of both teams. (Note that i say teams, if you have more than 2 people in the room, they can be involved too. Just have to increase the stakes :p)

Rule is:

  1. Preparation of battle: Sit from your opponent facing each other. Prop a tall book/cardboard between your maps so that neither of you can see each other’s maps.

    Battle shots coordinates

  2. Secretly arrange your “ships”:
    > Draw 2 [3 spaced] cargo ships, 2 [2 spaced] battleship and 1 [1 spaced] submarines
    > Signal your opponent that you are ready to begin once all the ships are drawn (in pencil).

    Battle Shots Coordinates

  3. Flip a coin. Determine whether heads or tails designates who plays the first turn.

  4. Call your shot.
     > On your turn, call out the coordinates where you believe your opponent has positioned one of their ships. (example- A5)

    >To track their, mark your coordinate map with mini X’s where a target is hit and mini O’s where a target is missed.

    Battle shot coordinates

  5. Handle a hit.  Mark your coordinate map with a BIG X where you have hit your target-your opponent’s BattleShot ship. Your opponent must drink a shot.
  6. Handle a miss. Using a dry erase marker, mark your coordinate map with a BIG O where you have missed your target. This will keep you from guessing the same location twice.
    Battle Shots Coordinates
  7. Sink all your opponent’s BattleShots to win. The loser must consume all remaining unsunk BattleShots.

Additional rules:

  • If you successfully sink any of the ships, your opponent has to take another extra shot or a heavier concoction of drinks.
  • If any one of you miss, you have to take a shot.

Cheers now! x

drinks alcohol drunk game