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Bug. Off. 

Hi little miss reader,

Please let me clarify that this is not about HIM. I’m happy enough to let you have a good life and wish him all the best too. Watching me shows how insecure you are. So bug off. And don’t be proud. It irritates me to think someone insignificant can bug me like this. 

So. Bug. Off.

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Shadow – Whee In (Mamamoo)

This song is about how it feels like to be a shadow, always watching his back. The song is filled with the feeling of a one sided love and the yearning of the other person response to your feelings. That even a small act may fill her heart with so much happiness. Just being around him is sufficient and won’t ask for more to jeopardize the closeness. His happiness is her happines. He doesn’t have to give her more for her to be blissfully happy 🙂 but of course, there is a sense of sadness that things just doesn’t work out as how she would like it to.

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Rant

This week, my post will be dedicated to purely ranting.

I’ve been in a better place recently, reconnecting with my inner self and focusing on other things  that would not make me upset. I guess the best way for me to move on is really to get distracted. Distracted with things I can do with my life without just wallowing in bed thinking of what could have been. I know readers may feel really petty that after so long, I am still sore and I’m still upset. Heck, of course I am. The guy is moving on, and so am I! Just not social media about it, that’s all. So maybe life is just playing a cruel trick on me. I hate social media now. Dislike how addicted I am to being able to know where everyone is and what they are doing, at what time. Able to be in their shoes and assuming what they are feeling and being affected by my own imagination of how they’re feeling. It’s intoxicating and tiring. I have a knack of being OBSESSED at what everyone is doing. And it in turn hurts me when I find out things I don’t want to. 

Going to quote a good friend of mine:

Alyssa, you’ve got to embrace the Feeling of NOT feeling FOMO, give some time to yourself and live YOUR life.

So yeah, I will try my best. And REALLY get OFF social media to people watch, I DO NOT need that knowledge in my life. Breathe. 

Peace out. 🙆🏻


Ps. I’m absolutely fine guys! 😘 Ping me for proof! 🙆🏻

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Travel to Gua Niah!

So the story of the week will be about my trip to Niah! Just gonna give a heads up that the pictures taken weren’t of the besssst quality, just want to give my readers a sense of the highlight of my week.

So the reason behind going to Niah was because… my friends from KL and Brunei came to visit! 🙆🏻 They are my crazy board game freak gang, and they are the most entertaining group of friends I have (sorry everyone else, hehe). But basically had to bring them to Miri’s iconic cave: Gua Niah. 

Travel details:

  • By car from Miri city center; around 1.5 to 2 hours. Depending on the traffic (big lorries on a one lane roads, which is most of the time)
  • Entrance fee: RM10 for locals (if locals bringing foreigners, it is also RM10 each). RM20 for foreigners.
  • RM 1 for a boat ride across a small river to the other side. Not forgetting another RM1 to cross back as well at the end!
  • Drinks and souvenirs are sold mid trail. (Quite pricey, RM3 per can drink)
  • Some areas require torches (Phone flash would be sufficient, if you’re just into casual caving).

Hmm, those are really the only 5 points about what to look out for prior to going. But other than that, I shall story tell my experience. So basically, the road to Niah, was a very easy one. Just one STRAIGHT road all the way to the Niah area, then there will be signs to Niah National Park on the way. May be hard to see, so trust google maps! Just in case you miss any roads. The road itself is slightly bumpy, so brace your car. And you will be so annoyed with the lorries slowly driving on these roads, and needing to cut them. So PLEASE BE CAREFUL WHEN CUTTING! 

Niah’s cave trail is very VERY easy for all ages. We arrived at 10.15am and left Niah at about 1.30pm. But this is just exploring only Traders Cave. If you were to go further into Painting Caves, then you can add another 1 hour to the timing. If you’ve never been to a cave before, Niah would be a good start to get a small feel at how a cave is like 🙂 but overall it was a chilled walk in a cave. 

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Before the walk photo!

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After the Walk Photo!

It was an overall fun experience! Hope these boys enjoyed themselves! Because I did! The nature and the conversations we had during the walk (not to mention exercised too!) was a fun activity to do in boring little Miri. Be one with nature.

After the walk, we went to eat my favourite dish after Niah-ing. TUTU FISH or IKAN BERTUTU! Bekenu town has a restaurant called “Sing Chiong Restaurant” that rares tutu fishes. Basically they are freshwater fish that has meat that is soft like tofu. It is really a MUST eat if you are done with Niah, and finding food on the way back.

Type this address on google to find it: “Sing Chiong Restaurant, Kampung Keluru Jaya, 98150 Bekenu, Sarawak, Malaysia”

It was an amazing lunch!

Shall end the blog here now guys! Hope you enjoyed reading it. More next week!

Special shoutout to Teng: for my early birthday present! Love it! (Not the munchkin)

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The Best Night

Last night, was a truly epic night! The cross between the old and the new merged together like smooth peanut butter! What I’m meaning is, my high school friends partying hard with my colleagues on one single table! It was a truly amazing night to have both closest friends from two groups coming together so well. There were so many stories to tell and experiences to share. It was just amazing how alcohol can loosen people up and just be comfortable with each other. As well as hike up our emotions. Like they say the most natural personality will come out when one is drunk/tipsy. And last night’s hype seemed to be such a loving and caring group that knows everyone’s struggle but still are there for them. Don’t know why that’s what I got out of a drunken night out, but it just seemed more than just a normal outing last night. 


To all my friends that are going through hard times and or just having a bad or stressful day. Remember that all of us are here for you, no matter what. Through thick and thin. 


It has been an amazing, heart warming long weekend. 

Cheers to these ladies that have grown to be beautiful and strong women and wish for them the bessssst future. We don’t know when we can meet up like this again. But we will! One day!


Here I shall end my weekly. Peace out ♥️

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Happy Merdeka!

Happy MERDEKA!


Hi guys!

Just want to open up the floor to anonymous comments! I’m racking up quite a lot of views on my U.K. Visa post! Glad that some of you are finding it useful (even til now). So I’m open to comments and feedbacks, whether it be new procedures or something majorly wrong. Feel free to tell me here on the link below:

https://alyyphants.sarahah.com/

You will be totally anonymous! So don’t be afraid to pop me a message! 🙆🏻🎶

Will try to post here every week from now. Getting too stagnant. So starting Thursday (31/08), I’ll be posting stuff up (useful and non useful) just to keep all of you entertained!

Peace out guys!

🐘🍯

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The Start of a New Chapter

Hi guys, It’s been a long while since I’ve written in here. A lot has been happening in my life lately, and it’s time for this blog to get off its “professional” high horse and go down to the nitty-gritty of this being a personal blog.

So as you all may know, I’ve just recently separated from my 5 years of glorious reign of being one of the strongest long distance couple status. And no, this is not a post to gain sympathy or attention. Whoever will be seeing this will only be the readers that are curious to see if I post anything anymore, and they will be finding this Gem.

I have to say, I did not regret our decision to go our separate ways, at times I do miss the company and the connection that we once had. However, times have changed and people has changed over time, which is not to blamed on anyone or anything. I wished things would have been different, and our circumstances were different. But it was just not meant to be and I have come to terms with that.

This post is going to be about the different stages of a post break up summarised into the 6 R’s. This may not be a general idea but it’s something I went through and just want to share with the world about how I feel about it.

RELIEF

After a long push and pull of emotions, there is a sense of relief when a decision has been made. All the air cleared up to say that, things are not going work out. And yes, it may be selfish to say this, but freedom was felt. When the inevitable is coming towards the couple like a storm, sometimes, it is good for the release for both sides to concentrate on themselves for a change. People may comment that we are being weak and uncommitted, but if you know us personally and how we have been coping. You may understand. We had a good run, and the relief that we are choosing our individual future potential so that we don’t drag each other down.

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REALISATION

Then after the relief, here comes the realisation. The realisation that he’s not around anymore. There isn’t anyone that knows me for a quarter of my living life that I can rant to and talk to about our memories anymore. No one to look forward seeing. Just a realisation that I am now, single. What do I do. What am I suppose to do. There are people who want to be NOT single for a reason, and we let this go. A lot of things were realised at this stage, how he was there for me through my ups and downs, how our families have gotten used to us being together, how friends were waiting for the big good news from us. There were many expectations from everyone around us, how we gave long distance couples hope. It felt like I disappointed everyone around me. Then the feeling moved on to the next R..

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REGRET

Regret. Regret. Regret. I went nuts. I spent days in bed, just thinking of all the possibilities and regretted all the choices I made. It is the worse stage I went through. And will not wish upon anybody to go through this. Going through photos, notes, messages, just reading them and getting hurt by all of them. Hurt that we didn’t try hard enough. Hurt that we could have done more, I could have done more. Regretted all the things that my “strong heart” said, I just wanted to go back in time. What if things were different. What if I put more effort in. Would we have decided what we decided? Would we have been better people together than apart? Regrets. It is an overwhelming feeling, and all your friends around you may or may not realise that you are going through. It’s the best to share what you can share with them. But, honestly, they couldn’t help much for me. Because deep inside, this is my problem, only mine. And only I can solve it.

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RELAPSE

ah-HA. This stage. Very shameful stage. The begging to go back to normal stage. You all know this is a crazy ass stage. All your heart and mind wants to do is go back to a habitual life that you’ve been living for the past years. Just want to dangerously relapse back to him and go back to normal again. But that would mean all the decisions we made would be voided. HA. It is not as easy as that. When a decision like this has been done and all have been discussed, our weaknesses exposed. It is impossible to go back to normal, go back to how we once were. So no, that did not end well. Would not recommend this stage for any post break up couples. Because unless big changes are made on both sides, this will not end well. So yeah, not a very proud stage to have been through. But it happened. Glad that he did not give in to my relapse stage and nor I to his.

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RECONCILIATION

It’s a reconciliation of all the shit that happened just from all the stages before. It was a reconciliation on both sides. An understanding that we both have to move on. Understanding that we both did it for a reason, and we need to honour our reasons and decision. Don’t go back to the same mistakes. I will wish him all the best, and will always support him in all matters. Because we didn’t end things ugly, we ended things by putting everything into consideration. It was ugly through all these grieving stages. But we have to put all that behind us and go through life. Never will I regret everything we’ve been through. Never will I regret my decision again. Let’s just shake hands and wish each other well. Be Happy.

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REMEMBRANCE

I guess thats it for all the stages. The last one is when you bring yourself to start storing physical things away and memories to be locked away. And remembering that we had good times. All the fun trips we had, the experiences we went through together. I don’t regret one bit. and Never will. I will always have fond memories of you, and leave with no regrets of ever choosing you in the first place. I will be happy, and hope that you will be too.

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The end.